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现在距离在学校的最后一天转眼已过去了三个月。很久没更新是因为我的思绪随着英国高考取消变得很混沌不清，一直以来视为生活中心的事情就那么轻而易举的不存在了。我感觉失去了方向，甚至一时间找不到自己是谁。

（图一）MIT物理网课的笔记。课程里面涵盖了很多关于波的性质有趣的现象。有一星期我因为画画忙所以落了整整一单元的内容，错过了总结测验后本来不打算继续的。但是在一起上这门课的乔什和马克的帮助下我还是在继续进行这个课程。乔什和我为了申请卡文迪什物理实验室里实习的机会在牛顿物理网站（一个面向初高中生的物理题网站，剑桥大学的一个教育项目）完成了400多道物理题。可惜的是前几天我们被告知因为新冠病毒情况难以...

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\\n（图一）MIT物理网课的笔记。课程里面涵盖了很多关于波的性质有趣的现象。有一星期我因为画画忙所以落了整整一单元的内容，错过了总结测验后本来不打算继续的。但是在一起上这门课的乔什和马克的帮助下我还是在继续进行这个课程。乔什和我为了申请卡文迪什物理实验室里实习的机会在牛顿物理网站（一个面向初高中生的物理题网站，剑桥大学的一个教育项目）完成了400多道物理题。可惜的是前几天我们被告知因为新冠病毒情况难以预测，实验室现在处于被关闭状态，实习机会也被取消了。 \\n（图二）是三月份在剑桥动物学博物馆的鲸鱼咖啡闷头写了4个小时的python课业后，疲倦不堪的我走到了附近的菲茨威廉姆博物馆里想看看艺术品放松一下心情时照的馆里的穹顶。 \\n穹顶带来的视觉效果对我来说要比馆里的大多艺术品都要震撼。现在虽然商店书店可以重新开门了，可是博物馆官网都还没有给出具体的开放日期。我想等再次开门后第一个要做的是去动物学博物馆写生。&nbsp; \\n（图三）duolingo的法语课程打卡第81天和法语版小王子。&nbsp;在duolingo上学法语的结果就是我现在勉强可以啃小王子生肉。&nbsp;在duolingo每天打卡可以说是隔离生活里让我唯一产生有仪式感的习惯了。&nbsp; \\n（图四，五，六）最近的一些晴天&nbsp; 一直以来我都不喜欢一个人沐浴在夕阳漫无目的在街上行走的感觉。 \\n刚来英国的时候我也不知道没有参加过英国中考的我能申请到哪个学校。整整7个月都是在迷惑和不安中度过的。夏季到临，蔚蓝的天空和灿烂的阳光使我觉得此时不出去晒太阳的话简直是在奢侈的浪费这般景色。 \\n我推开门走出去，骑车到河边散步，看到同龄的少年少女纷纷结伴乘车迅速驶过。夏季傍晚的阳光余晖照透了他们金褐色的头发。他们接下来要回到他们的家，明天有一个学校去上。我呢，接下来要回到一个与家的概念毫无相关的住所，根本不知道自己未来到底会迈向何处。我的步伐沉重了起来。 \\n距离那个时候已经有两年了。天。或许就是那段日子的太过于孤寂的缘故，至今还有声音在我耳边源源不断的拷问着 \\n“你想要的到底是什么？” \\n这声音在我为了达到某一个状态而忙碌的时候不会出现，可是当我完成那件事情的时候，一丝迷茫感便会静悄悄的升起。 \\n上学后，我偶尔会在午休时间跑去附近的大草地，坐在河边静静思考。但我并不觉得这是漫无目的的，因为我知道接下来在具体的时间我就需要往回走，去上课，还有考试要担心，没有时间去想有的没的。&nbsp; \\n（图七，八） \\n我刚刚和和学校里的两个朋友，莉滋和丽雅在昨天刚刚重开的剑桥植物园里会面了。在学校的最后一天，在图书馆里偶遇莉滋。她向我推荐了《logicomix》，一本关于伯特兰&middot;罗素和他如何探索‘真理’的漫画书。真的很有趣。现在有空我就听听哲学相关的有声博客。 \\n我现在对我喜欢的朋友的定义，就是和他们呆在一起的时候不会感觉自己在浪费时间。即使就是在草坪上趴着晒太阳什么也不做的时候，我也会感觉自己是在和他人做一件可以持续下去，有意义的事情。晒太阳的懒散时刻也是我去成为一个整体的一部分的宝贵过程。 \\n第一张是最近新画的绘本故事，第二张是临摹想进步画技送朋友一张好看的肖像。在18岁这个年纪，我也想拥有像我这个年纪的年轻人们通常追寻的东西。尽管我感觉听斯宾诺莎的神学政治论文的广播是件有意思的事情，可是如果一天下来只有神学政治的广播陪伴着我的话，我会感到无聊又沮丧。我需要源于眼下生活的乐趣，来自与他人的活力和无忧无虑的笑声。这让我觉得我仍然是一个活着的，完整的人。 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\\n（图一）MIT物理网课的笔记。课程里面涵盖了很多关于波的性质有趣的现象。有一星期我因为画画忙所以落了整整一单元的内容，错过了总结测验后本来不打算继续的。但是在一起上这门课的乔什和马克的帮助下我还是在继续进行这个课程。乔什和我为了申请卡文迪什物理实验室里实习的机会在牛顿物理网站（一个面向初高中生的物理题网站，剑桥大学的一个教育项目）完成了400多道物理题。可惜的是前几天我们被告知因为新冠病毒情况难以预测，实验室现在处于被关闭状态，实习机会也被取消了。 \\n（图二）是三月份在剑桥动物学博物馆的鲸鱼咖啡闷头写了4个小时的python课业后，疲倦不堪的我走到了附近的菲茨威廉姆博物馆里想看看艺术品放松一下心情时照的馆里的穹顶。 \\n穹顶带来的视觉效果对我来说要比馆里的大多艺术品都要震撼。现在虽然商店书店可以重新开门了，可是博物馆官网都还没有给出具体的开放日期。我想等再次开门后第一个要做的是去动物学博物馆写生。&nbsp; \\n（图三）duolingo的法语课程打卡第81天和法语版小王子。&nbsp;在duolingo上学法语的结果就是我现在勉强可以啃小王子生肉。&nbsp;在duolingo每天打卡可以说是隔离生活里让我唯一产生有仪式感的习惯了。&nbsp; \\n（图四，五，六）最近的一些晴天&nbsp; 一直以来我都不喜欢一个人沐浴在夕阳漫无目的在街上行走的感觉。 \\n刚来英国的时候我也不知道没有参加过英国中考的我能申请到哪个学校。整整7个月都是在迷惑和不安中度过的。夏季到临，蔚蓝的天空和灿烂的阳光使我觉得此时不出去晒太阳的话简直是在奢侈的浪费这般景色。 \\n我推开门走出去，骑车到河边散步，看到同龄的少年少女纷纷结伴乘车迅速驶过。夏季傍晚的阳光余晖照透了他们金褐色的头发。他们接下来要回到他们的家，明天有一个学校去上。我呢，接下来要回到一个与家的概念毫无相关的住所，根本不知道自己未来到底会迈向何处。我的步伐沉重了起来。 \\n距离那个时候已经有两年了。天。或许就是那段日子的太过于孤寂的缘故，至今还有声音在我耳边源源不断的拷问着 \\n“你想要的到底是什么？” \\n这声音在我为了达到某一个状态而忙碌的时候不会出现，可是当我完成那件事情的时候，一丝迷茫感便会静悄悄的升起。 \\n上学后，我偶尔会在午休时间跑去附近的大草地，坐在河边静静思考。但我并不觉得这是漫无目的的，因为我知道接下来在具体的时间我就需要往回走，去上课，还有考试要担心，没有时间去想有的没的。&nbsp; \\n（图七，八） \\n我刚刚和和学校里的两个朋友，莉滋和丽雅在昨天刚刚重开的剑桥植物园里会面了。在学校的最后一天，在图书馆里偶遇莉滋。她向我推荐了《logicomix》，一本关于伯特兰&middot;罗素和他如何探索‘真理’的漫画书。真的很有趣。现在有空我就听听哲学相关的有声博客。 \\n我现在对我喜欢的朋友的定义，就是和他们呆在一起的时候不会感觉自己在浪费时间。即使就是在草坪上趴着晒太阳什么也不做的时候，我也会感觉自己是在和他人做一件可以持续下去，有意义的事情。晒太阳的懒散时刻也是我去成为一个整体的一部分的宝贵过程。 \\n第一张是最近新画的绘本故事，第二张是临摹想进步画技送朋友一张好看的肖像。在18岁这个年纪，我也想拥有像我这个年纪的年轻人们通常追寻的东西。尽管我感觉听斯宾诺莎的神学政治论文的广播是件有意思的事情，可是如果一天下来只有神学政治的广播陪伴着我的话，我会感到无聊又沮丧。我需要源于眼下生活的乐趣，来自与他人的活力和无忧无虑的笑声。这让我觉得我仍然是一个活着的，完整的人。 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